10 Things You'll Never Hear On The Street In London

1. "I need to find a more stylish track suit."
2. "That English girl has a really nice ass!"
3. "Caffe Nero brews a killer Americano."
4. "Isn't this weather great?"
5. "Who wants to go to Ladbrokes?!"
6. "Can I get you anything else?" (specifically from waitstaff)
7. "We can fit 50 more people on this bus no problem."
8. "I sure miss the days of drinking on the Tube."
9. "No, that dress isn't too short."
10. "Hey, don't puke there!"

British Humo(u)r

Overheard in the pub:

Q: Why did Diana cross the road?
A: She wasn't wearing her seat belt.

Welp.

London LOL Already

Liz is on the ground and I've got a little more than a week, but Seth linked me to a Metafilter post about the "Voice of the Underground" being fired for posting parody sounds on her website. I listened to a couple and holy shit are they funny. If you've ever want to hear the nice lady on the Tube telling people their city is a "stinking shithole," now is your chance.